Continuing the not-so-rosy-literary-life postings…
Forgive me while I lay my head upon my arms and weep for a moment.
A month ago, my beloved agent (yes, truly he is beloved) informed me that he was closing up shop. My first agent also left the business but we had not made a sale at that point so it was a clean break.
But this agent (let’s call him super agent man or SAM for short) sold Ashes, Ashes for me and he edits my manuscripts and troubleshoots and holds my hand if necessary.
And I LIKE him, and thought he’d be dandling my grand-children on his knees and drinking wine with me when I had twenty books published and my hair had turned a silvery-grey.
Now when I told some of my writer friends about it, they urged me to look on it as an opportunity to find someone else amazing to represent me, and they were right. Even though all I wanted to do was wallow and weep, they were right, so I picked myself up and…
You know, I wasn’t sure exactly what to do, being all published and fancy and all now.
a)Did I just publicize the fact that I was now un-agented and wait for the offers to pouring come in? b)Did I ask writer friends to refer me to their agents? c) Did SAM perform introductions for me?
Or did I (shudder) d) QUERY again?
(a) is ridiculous- who am I? J.K. Rowling?- but all the others apply.
So here I am now back in a place I didn’t think I would ever find myself again. In the position of querying, which is so not my favorite thing to do but (sigh) it is something that is necessary if you want to write for a living.
And really it is not as bad as I (we) all think it is. If you can’t summarize your book then you have bigger problems that writing a simple one-page letter designed to entice an agent to request it.
And on the plus side, I am definitely coming from a slightly better place than when I first began my agent search because I have 2 books out and SAM doted on me only slightly less than I dote on him, so he is out there saying nice things about me.
This IS an opportunity. It is a window opening (even if I worry that no one else will click with me and love my writing as much as SAM does). I can’t believe anything else.
All of that, however, does not mean that I am not waiting-waiting-waiting and agonizing-agonizing-agonizing and jumping whenever the phone rings and obsessively checking my email every 2 minutes. That part never gets any easier.