I have the tendency to look forward to all the things I am hoping will happen. This means I exist in a state of anticipation rather than just sitting back and enjoying the good things that come to me. I am aware of the problems with this attitude but I seem destined to repeat it.
It always seems that something big is right around the corner. And I am holding my breath.
At this time of year, it a good idea to reflect. And look back.
I don’t know about you but when I think of a year, it’s usually the bad things that stick. Friends who’ve died. Disappointments. Family arguments.
The achievements don’t seem to register as well. And of course, that is LUDICROUS.
Thankfully blogging and emailing means that without too much conscious effort most of us now have a record of the highs and lows of the past 365 days. I can check out my blogs from January 1st and see how far I’ve come and what has changed. It reminds me that most changes are gradual and microscopic. We set ourselves up to hanker for the bombastic changes but those don’t happen very often- and most of the time they are traumatic rather than uplifting. I think it’s dangerous to hope for an event that will alter your life completely. Those come with a price.
This year has been an eventful one for my family and I.
For instance:
I competed the final revisions on my Scholastic YA, Ashes, Ashes.
I completed a final draft of my punk rock YA.
I am halfway through another book.
My youngest started daycare. Happily.
My oldest made the transition into a new school. Happily.
We bought a wonderful house.
We moved from NY to Nova Scotia with no lives lost. Although we made the trip in a 1985 Mercedes wagon with 2 kids including one who gets carsick and 2 large dogs.
The older generation is flourishing. My grandmother will be 95 this year and she still weeds her own garden.
Barring a couple of colds, we are all healthy.
My dogs are healthy.
I live by the sea. In a town where the wind frequently howls.
I write in my own office rather than a laptop on the bed.
My son is finally old enough that we can read all the Harry Potter books together.
I think I am getting a handle on my daughter’s wild mane of curls. And she makes me laugh every day.
This will serve as a reminder to me that good things happen all the time. Maybe 2011 will be the year that that finally sinks in.