Cussing

Warning!!! This post contains lamely-disguised contractions of bad words.

When I had my record label we used to make fun of rappers who used the word motherf**ker to excess, especially those who just inserted it willy nilly to make the line scan. We would suggest alternatives to the necessary 4 syllables: mad butterfly, chameleon, wily monster.


Sadly for the artistry of rap most of these were ignored. Then I met the brilliant rapper who rhymed it with ‘six foot clucker’ and it was all good.

Although I would never excuse poor writing ability or weak ambition, I am still a fan of the ‘f’ word. It is still potent. Even after all these many years.
I believe it originated in Olde English first, and before that it probably came from Olde German. They are also responsible for c*nt (which incidentally I think should be reclaimed by women. Men should be publicly humiliated if they ever use it in reference to a woman). Anyway those Olde Germans apparently liked the sharp, short ‘uh’ words a lot back then.
I will be a responsible etymologist (not to be confused with entymologist) and look them both up and post links here and here. Please don’t read these if you are under 18 and/or offended by words.
I like the word as I said.
However I try not to use it. In front of my children I swear in Italian, much as my father used to (porca miseria, porca ma tosca, Vai far in culo if things are really bad-incidentally this is where the american-italian slang word fongool comes from- etc…). I try not to use any derogatory terms in the company of kids including ‘dink’ or ‘idiot’. This is almost impossible when driving through the village of Woodstock on the weekend.

I had a few cusswords peppered through my second to last manuscript. The one Scholastic is publishing in 2011. Maybe one ‘f’, and a couple of ‘s’ words. And only when my poor put-upon heroine was under great duress.
I have been asked to trim these.
This is surprisingly easy. The words are not really necessary after all. They are more like pauses before the next thought or utterance.
Much in the same way that certain rappers signed to my label took the lazy way out in order to make their lines scan, I used these words to indicate mood.
If I transcribed teen dialogue the way they actually spoke it, no doubt the prose would be liberally salted with ‘f’s and ‘s’s and ‘umms’ and ‘ahhhs’ and lots of awkward silences. But how boring to read!
There are far better, literary tools to employ. Dialogue, brief physical description, a pose, a stance, a nervous tic which convey meaning more clearly.
And then when I do use the occasional ‘f’ it retains its potency and is shocking once more.