left side, right side

Ok, I’m going to be simplistic here because I’m a simplistic sort of a gal…NOT (I was just being self-deprecating in a British sort of a way).
However I do know that the way most people view brain function is a right side/ left side thing in which passionless mathematicians dwell on the left side and passionate artistes live on the right.
So for argument’s sake, let’s go along with that.
When I ran my own record label (which was quite a creative endeavor) I also did all the day to day accounting work. Dead boring stuff but it turned out I was good at it because as my dear friend the CPA (Chartered Public Accountant) said, “I was anal….in a good way.” (Is there a good way?) In any case, I also did some legal contract work which entailed conveying simple ideas using the most convoluted language possible with as many loopholes inserted as I could muster and also more verbiage covering said loopholes. I used to pile it on with a trowel.

Later on I worked for an investment company without an inkling as far as dividends and stock growth and platforms worked and somehow I muddled through. I even (and the mind boggles) proof-read and corrected an investment book written by the founder of the firm. Without having the most basic grasp of what I was talking about. Something the music industry taught me, is how to woffle with the best of them.
At the moment I am working as a resume writer. I almost didn’t take the job because without going into detail I am actually making something of a living as a writer at the moment. (But who knows how long that will last and I have learned never to look a gift horse (or a job) in the mouth. Been broke and hungry for far too long). So I took it.
Basically what I do is examine pages and pages of often illiterate and ungrammatical writing and turn it into two pages of scintillating, explosive resume and a captivating cover letter.
I have lists of action and power words pinned above my computer. I am not allowed to use passive words. Everything must have drive and purpose. Those pesky connecting words (like articles for instance) are mostly dispensed with because they distract the reader from the power words. I’m actually enjoying the job a lot more than expected.
But it is bad writing. The only way I can do it is with that full realization. It’s punched-up, dynamic. It’s using fifty words to mask little or no job experience from job-seekers who have no idea how to write their own resume. And that tells you something.
I do my resume writing two or three days a week and afterwards I do my own writing. And they are almost opposite in terms of what I am trying to achieve.
Over-writing, excessive bombast on the one side which quite often makes me cringe. The more over the top, the better.
Carefully considered, pared down, expressive language on the other.
I can only believe that my brain hemispheres are divided in the same way. And ne’er the twain shall meet.
Do any of you struggle to balance two seemingly contradictory endeavors? Are you poets and lawyers? Painters and tax preparers? Politicians and haiku masters?
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